Sometimes I find myself trying to do too much. I feel like I'm running to use the bathroom, running to get a drink of water, picking up dishes or clothes along the way since there's no time to clean up the house, and just not eating. But I insist on baking and cooking everything from scratch (right down to the mayo) and calling that my outlet, or finding tedious household chores to do that are unimportant. I periodically give myself a lecture: just calm down. Get out a puzzle or a book and hang out with the kids. Don't cook dinner tonight. Find the least important tasks on my mental to-do list and let them go. My husband found a stack of linen napkins sitting on the table the other day and asked what they were doing there. I needed to iron them before I put them away. I think I realized how riculous I sounded only after he put them away (without ironing them) and I felt like something had been crossed off my to-do list. Put that under my 'Waste of Time. Play with Kids Instead' list. I can garden some other time (like when Elizabeth is interested), I can blog some other time (another life, maybe), I'll iron my linen when I'm sixty (or never), and we can order out for dinner tonight (any ideas? Where can we order a soft dinner for a little girl with a cut up mouth?)
3 comments:
Oh, I sympathise. My daughter is like that, too. More so than my son was - or is. If anyone's going to get banged up, it's her. Sometimes it's her own doing, other times it's just fate. But she's a tough little cookie, as yours seems to be. She cries, but she keeps moving on.
The worst was our trip to the hospital. She was around two, I think, and she had been jumping up and down on her brother's bed and fell forward and smacked her mouth on the footboard, and of course her teeth broke the skin inside her mouth and the outside was cut by the force of the fall. She ended up with 4 stitches. But while we were waiting in the exam room, she'd stopped crying, and she kept trying to jump up and down on the exam table.
All you can do is laugh, and mop up the blood, and keep the popsicles handy. Which it sounds like you're doing.
And I've been there, too - the linen napkins - and realizing that the main person making you crazy is you. It was worst when I was working - just no time at all to accomplish anything at home, it seemed. Things are a little better now (I was laid off at the end of December) - I'm not as crazy. But I don't think the guilt ever goes away, because as mothers we hold ourselves to higher standards than we hold anyone else to.
Sorry for the long, rambling commentary - just wanted to let you know you've got company in the mother guilt club.
And I'm thinking ice cream would work well for dinner. :)
Oh, Elizabeth! Even all banged up, she is still the cutest!
I think Jayne has a point. About mothers holding themselves to a higher standard because I think you are being WAY too hard on yourself. For cryingoutloud, you live in ALASKA all by yourself! Of course you are going to be doing silly things like iron napkins! And Elizabeth is just fine. You are probably more traumatized by the whole thing than she is. You are a great mom, friend, and sister. Don't worry so much!
ps. Do you really make your own mayo?
I think all mothers put themselves in a category of being super-mom. Everything has to be perfect, my house, dinners, hubby shouldn't have to lift a finger when he comes home. We can't do everything so I feel like I am right in the boat with you and it is exhausting. Take a deep breath, your daughter is beautiful, this will be the first of many crashes. Enjoy every moment you can with them because it just goes by so fast!
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